In My Mind at the Moment

So, there has been a lack of everything.  FRIENDSHIP, CONVERSATION, CONSTANT CONTACT, TIME, HOBBY, PROMISES... I am truly not complaining but I am kind of lost.  We have mild conversations but have not had one in person (face to face) in a while and as you can see, I havent really had much to say as of lately.  LACK OF INSPIRATION.  The initial was exciting and always involved but now things are just going. He has been very busy at work and with his real life.  A few weeks ago he mentioned that I need to possibly find me a boyfriend as he is not always avail.  I just didnt really think that was the answer and to be quite honest - it sort of rubbed me the wrong way not really but a little.  There was always going to be time that he would be my side piece as I am his but I just havent met anyone and I generally dont have a ransom dude's my space like that.  I know that he sometimes feels bad (well maybe or not) when he amkes a plan to see me and cant make it happen.  He knows that I have been wanting him in my space and in the place BUT he has not had time or been able to make it happen.  Things have been busy for him at work and his family keeps him fairly busy on the weekend.  GOTTA STAY IN MY PLACE (know the role).  When he brought up the boyfriend thing it felt strange.  It was more in the tone.  I guess that is what happens when you are use to conversing with a person on a regular basis (constant contact - phone, email, in person) and then it is limited to sporatic text.  The emotion or connection is lost in translation.  I kind of feel lost in our friendship (special and otherwise).  It just feels disconnected (with the added sexual frustration -  STILL FUCKING HORNY).  When I saw him last week, it was limited and before that it had been two weeks also limited - good and very nice to be in his presence.  We were suppose to do something for my birthday and that didnt happen.  The vacation trip is not happening and sometimes he doesnt respond to me for long periods of time.  DISCONNECT. I know, I know I know.... I sound kind of sappy, overly sensitive and complicated.  I am really not trying to be.  I never want to burden him with how I am feeling or my disappointments because I am suppose to be easy, uncomplicated, fun and full of fantasy.  HONESTLY, I just really miss our friendship.  I miss the constant contact.  I miss him being attracted to me and the way he looked at me when I would attempt to do something "special".  I sometimes feel like he is over this arrangement and me.   Then I will get a text from him stating that he misses me and our conversations.  I always smile.  When I do have him for the limited time I try to make the most of  it when we have it but far too often I make me way available and something happens.  I try to take care of him and do the things that he likes when we are together (play my role).  I try to make sure that Professor is pleased and satisfied.  He generally releases and seems to be fulfilled.   That part is good and I sincerely enjoy pleasing him.  It never feels like a task.  It's always feels and taste good.  I just miss the constant contact, real conversation, coffee or drinks with pleasant sides of conversation and interaction, he wanting to be in my space.  I understand and it should all be easier once my time is more occupied.  Then we will change again.  I am just going with the flow and needed to get this shit off my chest. Whatcha think?

Sometimes...

...I just wonder what he is doing?  Wonder what he is thinking.  Wonder if I am fulfilling the fantasy?  Wonder if he truly has any expectations of me?

I think that I am in over my head?  I wonder why this situation is so comfortable?  Wonder what if even though I am not suppose to???  Wonder if I will ever get a man of my own? Wonder why this all feels so good when I know that it is wrong? Wonder what kind of woman am I to be so good with they way this special friendship is?

I sit back and really think of how much I appreciate Professor.  I think about how special he is to so many people.  I think about what a good person he is and how his friendship is so special to me. He is always genuinely concerned about my well being, my comfort and my heart.  He's a good friend to me outside of the arrangement (he is grrreat there). 

I think about how inhibited I am with him.  How he helps me be more aware of my body.  How he always takes his time and truly appreciates my femininity. My smell, my touch, my kiss.  He appreciates it and takes care of it and makes me feel so wanted/ desired.

The Deal is Sealed

He held me close tightly. My insides tensed up as he rubbed his face against mine. I could feel the air from his nostrils breathe me in as he came into me. His lips were soft and his tongue succulent. He kissed me softly and followed up with several pecks. He smiled and then kissed me again. I followed his tongue with mine and rubbed down his shoulders as began to relax without exhaling. He was nice and gentle with me which I appreciated. He broke away and whispered, “Can I taste you?” as he politely guided me to my bedroom. I smiled and climbed up my bed leaving my shorts on the floor. I often don’t wear any underwear so it was very convenient. I laid back and opened wide watching him take off his blazer and unbutton the top couple of buttons of his crisp white shirt and cuffs. He never took his eyes off my core. There was such anticipation in eyes as he stretched his neck and assumed his position. He carefully buried his face between my thighs and started at my clit. He let out a soft Mmmm… and I took a deep breath, giving into the moment. It was sort of intense, somewhat passionate as he tenderly fondled my clit with his tongue making slow sudden trips down to my wet, caressing my nipples with one hand and massaging my thigh his other.

He seemed rather involved with my flavor so, I rhetorically stated, “You licking that like you like it”

He moaned and confirmed, “It’s good!”

“Yes, you are” I said as I relaxed completely engaged to his service.

I began to massage his shoulders, rub his back, ears and head. Once I did that, he added a couple of fingers to his presentation while rubbing my nipple with his free hand. This combination made me wetter and I could hear him slurping it all up as he moaned. I let out several moans and groans in competition with his. My body began to tighten up and I knew my climax and apparently he did too because he deepened his penetrated fingers trying to find my good spot as he sucked my clit. I started to slightly dig my nails into the top of his shoulders and then grabbed his neck. He asked me to cum for him and I did just that. I bit down on my bottom lip, closed my eyes and squeezed him tight as I did my best not to scream. I came long and hard. He raised up licking his fingers with my nectar on his chin and all in his beard. I laid there attempting to regain my composure inquiring if he wanted me to get him a towel. He said, “No towel needed" and wiped his mouth with his blazer. I want to smell my “special friend”.

I smiled as I got up off the bed and told him not to move. I was inspired and wanted to reciprocate his service. I went into my adjoined bathroom rinsed my mouth with some Listerine and got a cough drop. As I sucked on the menthol drop, I positioned myself on the edge of my bed with him standing in front of me. I unfastened his pants and let them drop to the floor. His dick was already hard and fat. I stroked and rubbed it trying to see what and how he responded. I kissed the tip of his head, licked down the shaft and then pulled back up to look him in his face. I took him in to my mouth little by little constantly sucking the head in between. I could feel his eyes on me and we made eye contact several times. He seemed happy and almost fulfilled. I sucked him hard and constant building my rhythm. His moans and groans were deep and steady. He reached for my titties and I pushed his hands away. This was about him and I needed him to feel cared for. I paid careful attention to all his reactions and all my movements. He could feel his manhood contract and I knew he was about to cum. He grabbed the back of my neck guiding me to the beat of his ever so present climax until he was ready. He came hard and the cum filled my mouth. As he attempted to regain his composure I got up to spit. His spunk wasn’t all that bitter but I chose not to swallow. It was more than I had expected but the result was quite pleasant and it even got me off as I came a bit with him on my own.

It was done and our arrangement had been consummated.

SPECIAL FRIEND – the setup via text

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