Sometimes...

...I just wonder what he is doing?  Wonder what he is thinking.  Wonder if I am fulfilling the fantasy?  Wonder if he truly has any expectations of me?

I think that I am in over my head?  I wonder why this situation is so comfortable?  Wonder what if even though I am not suppose to???  Wonder if I will ever get a man of my own? Wonder why this all feels so good when I know that it is wrong? Wonder what kind of woman am I to be so good with they way this special friendship is?

I sit back and really think of how much I appreciate Professor.  I think about how special he is to so many people.  I think about what a good person he is and how his friendship is so special to me. He is always genuinely concerned about my well being, my comfort and my heart.  He's a good friend to me outside of the arrangement (he is grrreat there). 

I think about how inhibited I am with him.  How he helps me be more aware of my body.  How he always takes his time and truly appreciates my femininity. My smell, my touch, my kiss.  He appreciates it and takes care of it and makes me feel so wanted/ desired.